Please click to play the video
Thanks to Yusuf who shot this video in 2015. He was from South Africa and a co-speaker at the Leadership conference in Jaipur. A big shower of love out to everyone I met there for all the joy and stories shared.
Many of us who spoke at the conference went on a safari, in the hope of spotting a Bengal tiger. We also toured in Khajuraho after. I saw this video on Facebook, while contemplating what my blog for the weekly Arkaya community classes would be about and felt inspired.
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We Can Be In The Way Of Our Own Magnificence
I heard myself in the video telling the jeep driver to leave way for the beautiful tiger that graced us, as we spotted him in the bushes. It was obvious to me the tiger was surveying if he had enough space, a path to cross, between two jeeps and I wanted us to not be in our own way. We were the ones who had ventured all the way there to see this magnificent being, yet could have blocked that from happening by our boorish/bullish stance. I had a chat with the driver after and checked if he was ok with me directing him and he seemed happy I checked in.
That made me contemplate true leadership - the need to recognise when we need to step back for excellence to unfold and when we need to step in to direct things, in order to get ourselves out of the way.
True Leadership Is Appreciating, Absorbing And Exuding Beauty
The parts of leadership that are conveniently left out are those that require us to soften into our hearts and not forge forward only with our minds.
The results of this softening are not apparent immediately but are experienced as deep oneness with life. Softness is greatly underestimated because sensitivity, subtlety and self-awareness are not what bring accolades in our left brained modern world. We not only increase our capacity to appreciate beauty, through this reconnection to our hearts, but also allow our beings to be filled with awe for the divine.
Leadership Is Being Awesome
This awe for life and the divine, when valued and actively cultivated, makes one awesome. When we devalue nature, animals, other beings, the feminine or those who do not display brutish strength, power or money, our behaviour is simply awful.
Interestingly the root of the word awful means “full of awe” or “awe inspiring.” Just as the word meaning has changed over time, we can also change our unhealthy patterns of devaluing life. This change can happen with time, self-enquiry and self-reflection.
Leadership Is Being Open To Life Giving Direction
In 2014, I was in Delhi, on my way to Rishikesh to speak at the International Yoga festival. I decided to extend my stay there to teach a few workshops in Delhi as well as attend a close knit Sufi festival. Because I knew there would only be a small group, I decided to book my stay at the retreat space that was organising this festival. There were people attending from outside as well.
I was there for an evening program where we were sitting on the floor with cushions. During the break I saw that there was a cover with a big bundle of money inside. I knew the man who had forgotten it or whose pocket it had dropped out of would be back post break and my job was just to safeguard it for him till he returned, which I did. When he returned I gave him his money and we exchanged pleasantries. He discovered I was travelling and teaching across different countries and said that the next time I was in India, if it lined up, I should speak at the leadership conference he was organising the next year in Jaipur. I went on to meet Anoop only one other time, briefly, when he was visiting Chennai for a breakfast meet. His open, appreciative spirit and warmth lingered. So I decided to visit Jaipur, which I had never visited before, to speak at the conference.
Leadership Is About Good Communication And Being Kind
The hosts of the conference were very hospitable and I was soon comfortable in Jaipur. I had no clue till then that Anoop and his family owned a chain of hotels. Post the conference there was a safari and tour to Khajuraho, which he graciously fitted me into. So for the most part the people, places, conference, meeting up with two of my school classmates who were now living in Jaipur, was all very enjoyable.
Just before the conference one of the guys from the event team seemed really rattled. As I was sitting close to the drama that unfolded, he vented in Hindi about a person in the group. I knew it was not my place to say too much but just gave him an understanding smile and reassured him the event would go well in order to balance off a bit of the unkindness he had faced. Most of the other speakers were from different countries so I figured he needed a familiar Indian face to reassure him, even though my Hindi was half baked.
A similar incident unfolded in Khajuraho where the hired tour guide on location came up to me and started venting about disrespect, referring to the same person in question. This time I was concerned that this was more than a communication or language problem. A few days later I witnessed her unbridled entitlement directed onto me. This occurred in a high volume flow in the middle of the road while I had to leave one person in the care of a driver and also help translate for two young girls from our group, as they called out to me. As I witnessed, I could see clearly that it was not a language problem but an attitude problem that masked itself beneath a facade of efficiency. It was the last day of the tour and I chose to say nothing as I did not feel inspired to sand paper anyone's rough edges.
So a prayer that she would see her entitled patterns, to avoid self-sabotage and more roadkill was the best I could do for her at that moment. I was not attached to this group, neither was it personal as I barely knew this person. So as much as I considered addressing the issue, for the well being of the group, I did not feel compelled. It yet again reminded me that being a leader, spiritual, religious, or any label, ultimately boiled down to being communicative and kind. Else the ripples of unrest would spread soon, as I had observed in the reactions of the people she had interacted with.
Leadership Is About Having Healthy Boundaries And Choosing Your Battles
I left there happy for the synchronous events that I trusted and followed through with and for all the love I received. Had I not followed the many beautiful openings, I would have missed the beauty of divine flow. And if I had not taken the time to contemplate, I could have started taking responsibility for the erratic behaviours of others and weighed myself down. I was already doing a bit of that by helping to pick up the pieces of that chaotic energy when those impacted had reached out for solace. But I also knew to step back. Because I was like a rolling stone then, I thankfully did not let this emotional moss grow on me, neither did I have to fight it off. I could just observe and disengage.
Leadership Is Being Open To New Phases Of Life To Recalibrate
As I left from the north of India to return to the south, I went with a happy heart. The fragrance of all the beautiful people I met still lingers and the divine's unmistakable scent which underlies all of it stayed. I was seeing my life move towards Vancouver and building something there. My sanyasi days of travelling and teaching at conferences or corporations with minimal attachments seemed to move into another phase. The death of a friend the following year in India also made me relook at my attachments to family and friends to move into a new phase of clearing. As much as I resisted staying back in Vancouver for the winters, in the beginning, I saw clearly that I needed to be in one place now. Despite myself I was guided to stay and dig deeper due to the surrender to a higher intelligence. It was time to reintegrate and recalibrate.
I will share more about other beautiful synchronicities in my next article…